"I'm Actually Shy"

What club do you currently dance in?

I'm not a stripper currently. I haven't been for over a year. I'm busy being a construction contractor now! I do miss learning new pole tricks and becoming stronger and more flexible. If the poles in DC strip clubs weren't so short, I'd be all over them again. I like long poles.

How long had you been dancing?

About a year altogether. Not terribly long, I know.

Did you originally go to an exotic-dancer school or are you self-taught?

Self-taught. I used to go in early when no one was there, with my laptop, and try to mimic some of the more-complex moves I'd find on YouTube.

Did you do pole dancing? Any girl-on-girl stage play?

Yes, I really adored pole dancing all by itself. I'd do some girl-on-girl stage play with girls I befriended, too. I loved girl/girl play. Hell, I love any job where I get paid to sexually harass my coworkers.

Did you do lap dances also?

Yes. My lap dances were sexy!

What type of costumes and shoes did you like wear on stage?

I looked pretty great in my schoolgirl outfit and PVC domme boots with the braces and all. But I also had dresses and neon bikinis and the ever-classy plastic stripper heels. I wish I got the ones with the lights in them. Hell, I wish I found some with little plastic fish floating in them. I would have worn the hell out of those! With a stringy, black, thong micro-bikini and a cane and a giant fuzzy, purple pimp hat with zebra stripes. With some purple sunglasses. That would have been my look hands down-70s style pimp, workin' the stripper pole. Fuck...if I had one regret about quitting, it'd be not wearing that.

What mistakes do guys make in clubs?

Not tipping well. Most other things can be forgiven, but strippers are there to make money.

What should a guy talk about if he's spending time with a dancer in a club?

Nothing. Shut up and enjoy a naked girl dancing on you!

Kalila has a Twitter fan page at @kalilakane.

See More of Kalila Kane at SCORELAND.COM!